It seems that everyone wants to be in or a part of something that is larger than the person themselves. As we grow and I have seen this with my two young daughters, there is a need to be in the club. If you watch children on a playground, they will over time develop their own individual social groups. And of course, the toughest question at recess is “do you want to be in my club?”
As we grow older, high school and later college associations vie for our membership to join various educational clubs or sororities. As we grow even older, professional associations and trade groups bind us together with people who have similar interests in careers and what we hope to be life long connections and friendships.
If we choose to get married, again social circles and friends form parts of our personal time, then the addition of children, family and even pets continues to define who we are.
All the above are fun happy things that as we grow older, allow us to reflect on what a good life we have truly lived. But what happens if we are drawn to others because of illness or disability. Certainly one can say that it was not by choice. Maybe questioning why? Did I deserve this cross to carry in life? And unless you personally walk the very steps as a patient or family member, can you only truly understand the weight of that cross in the group of those suffering from Cancer.
Today was mid point for the five weeks radiation treatment for mom depending on how you calculated it. As usual, the Tollway was slow, so we got there right on time. Mom and I talked about a variety of things, but she was somewhat stuck on the image and sorrow of children who suffered from Cancer and how all children deserve to be healthy and happy doing what children were born to do. But then mom is like that. She worries about everyone. The troops, family, cop, firefighters, the homeless, the shut in, the sick. My goodness her prayer list must be volumes long.
Mom’s treatments lasted a bit longer today, leaving me to hang out in the waiting room a little longer than usual. We were a little late getting back and one of my guys called to be sure everything was OK. A gruff soul, but when the chips are down he is a softie.
While sitting in the waiting area, different people reacted to me differently than others. A handshakes by one, a glance by another. Some smiled, some said hi, some just walked by. Then a nicely dressed lady walked by with a young boy who had a smile from one ear to the other. That Magic Johnson boyish smile! As he walked by, his eyes were as big as saucers. His baseball cap pushed to the left, slightly up on one side. But what struck me was the smile this young man had. As he walked by, I said, “how are you”, which he replied “FINE” matter of factly. He then took his seat with his mom a few chairs down the row.
About ten minutes after arriving, he got up and moved over to me where I was sitting, sort of leaning to the left in the chair. He asked, “So what’s it like being a police officer” he questioned. “Great” I told him. “Although I never thought I would be one when I was your age.” His mom, seeing were had struck up a conversation said he always wanted to be a police officer when he grows up. Wow, I was impressed! A young man his age knowing what he wanted to be in life. And so began our conversation on what it is like to be a police officer. And all the while, that beautiful, beautiful smile. The smile that says “I’m on top of the world look at me!”
Our talk lasted about twenty minutes until mom came out. Which gave me plenty of time to tell this young man all the secrets of law enforcement work. That what you see on television is not what most police officers do. He knew that was phony all along. And when we got to the part of what helping others meant to the job, he said “I like that.” Just as we were finishing up, mom came out explaining her delay was due to a consult and some additional X-rays. “We’re moving right along,” she said.
She noticed my friend and mom asked if we were talking. I said “yep”, “this is David and he wants to be a police officer”. David got up and still wearing that smile and extended his hand to say hello to mom. We kidded for a few seconds when I stuck my head next to moms and said “see this is my mom, noticed the similar good looks?”
David laughed. That smile getting bigger than ever. Mom introduced herself to David’s mother and asked if he was sick. His mother simply nodded slightly holding back a few tears. Then mom reached out, and said “can I give you a hug?” David still smiling reached out with both hands and grabbed big momma like she was his own, not letting go. And they held each other for a few moments. Next, she told his mother she needed a hug too and his mother released a few tears that she was holding inside. David’s mom said today was his first day, and next week he was scheduled to be in the hospital.
We talked briefly, and I told David to hurry up and become that police officer so he could carry on for me. I said we need nice guys like you to carry on for us older guys. David, still smiling simply nodded and we bumped knuckles to say goodbye for now.
David, age 15 had been welcomed into the group with love from a stranger, with no bigger a heart ever known. And mom and I slowly walked out to the truck hand in hand thinking about our new friend David and how he blessed our life today. David went to the top of her prayer list today. I cannot think of a better person to have in my corner.
Give your children an extra hung tonight for David’s sake. And add him to your prayer list too!
Andy
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Responsibility
As Willie Nelson would say, we’re “on the road again” to Med Cities!
I had heard rumors that mom would be dressed in black and white today. They were not rumors. She looked just like that round cookie we ate as kids that had the half-white icing and half-chocolate icing kind of meeting in the middle. Then to top it all off, she had that fuzzy white hat that looked something like a Drakes Snowball cake. O.K, so I have food on my mind as I write this.
Also in tow, was her bastone. A major mental hurdle, but perhaps a temporary aid as her knees is bothering her a bit. Mom’s side of the family has the long bloodlines and let’s not forget the good looks, but the knees, faggetaboutit! So now she has a pointing stick and we have to remember not to lip off to her, as her “attack range” for a smack in the head is now extended by about three feet.
The treatment room was running a little behind schedule, which I like sometimes. Keeping the treatments on your timetable and having it wait for when you’re ready. HA! One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi (you get the idea).
Couldn’t talk mom into coffee today or lunch, but we again had some pretty good conversation. She shared a story when she first moved down here to Texas, and started to work with L.I.S.D in the kitchen. Yes Adam Sandler, momma Ida was a lunchroom Lady! Not that she needed to work, just something to get her out of the house and as it would turn out, following the first set of her grandchildren Michael and Joseph through their elementary grades. She even served my wife Rachel lunches when she was at Camey. Which is another story for another time.
Now mom always had a great heart. Still does! If you approached her and said Ida, can I borrow a dollar, she’d give you two. Even if she didn’t have it. And when she worked in the kitchen, what hurt her heart the most were children who didn’t have their lunch money. Now the school cannot let kids go hungry, so they had the Column B lunch. PBJ and water. Broke mom’s heart to see some of the kids eating the free lunch when everyone else was eating pizza or burgers or spaghetti. Back then the lunches she said were $1.05. (Tells ya how long ago it was). So she’d tell the kids that forgot their money,” let me see how responsible you are”. And she’d give the child a dollar and five cents to get a regular lunch. But there was a catch! They had to promise that they would pay her back the next day. They said they would, and in all the years she worked in the various kitchens they all always did. Not once did she not get her money back from one of the children. For they all showed wonderful responsibility.
I don’t share this conversation to make my mom out to be a Mother Theresa. Remember that she hits in the head with a wooden spoon. But what it reminds me is that there are times we need to trust and show responsibility to others when everything in life says “this one is gonna hurt”. A kitchen life lesson if you will. And sometimes, with a little luck and prayer, it works out for the best. Who’s to say that maybe someone out there reading this now didn’t pass through one of those momma Ida lunch lines. Each day in life we all come across those people who maybe we may not take a second notice of. I’ve come to realize through my career of 28 years in public safety that sometimes you need to show compassion and grace to people. And at times, it is difficult to do. But it is a lesson I learned from mom. And what does my heart good is when our paths cross months or years later and they remember me for the good I did for them. How wonderful this world would be, if we all just helped each other through this lunch line we call life.
Here’s to the moms and lunch ladies everywhere!
A special shout out to all my friends at the “cement pond.” Keep strong!
Andy
I had heard rumors that mom would be dressed in black and white today. They were not rumors. She looked just like that round cookie we ate as kids that had the half-white icing and half-chocolate icing kind of meeting in the middle. Then to top it all off, she had that fuzzy white hat that looked something like a Drakes Snowball cake. O.K, so I have food on my mind as I write this.
Also in tow, was her bastone. A major mental hurdle, but perhaps a temporary aid as her knees is bothering her a bit. Mom’s side of the family has the long bloodlines and let’s not forget the good looks, but the knees, faggetaboutit! So now she has a pointing stick and we have to remember not to lip off to her, as her “attack range” for a smack in the head is now extended by about three feet.
The treatment room was running a little behind schedule, which I like sometimes. Keeping the treatments on your timetable and having it wait for when you’re ready. HA! One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi (you get the idea).
Couldn’t talk mom into coffee today or lunch, but we again had some pretty good conversation. She shared a story when she first moved down here to Texas, and started to work with L.I.S.D in the kitchen. Yes Adam Sandler, momma Ida was a lunchroom Lady! Not that she needed to work, just something to get her out of the house and as it would turn out, following the first set of her grandchildren Michael and Joseph through their elementary grades. She even served my wife Rachel lunches when she was at Camey. Which is another story for another time.
Now mom always had a great heart. Still does! If you approached her and said Ida, can I borrow a dollar, she’d give you two. Even if she didn’t have it. And when she worked in the kitchen, what hurt her heart the most were children who didn’t have their lunch money. Now the school cannot let kids go hungry, so they had the Column B lunch. PBJ and water. Broke mom’s heart to see some of the kids eating the free lunch when everyone else was eating pizza or burgers or spaghetti. Back then the lunches she said were $1.05. (Tells ya how long ago it was). So she’d tell the kids that forgot their money,” let me see how responsible you are”. And she’d give the child a dollar and five cents to get a regular lunch. But there was a catch! They had to promise that they would pay her back the next day. They said they would, and in all the years she worked in the various kitchens they all always did. Not once did she not get her money back from one of the children. For they all showed wonderful responsibility.
I don’t share this conversation to make my mom out to be a Mother Theresa. Remember that she hits in the head with a wooden spoon. But what it reminds me is that there are times we need to trust and show responsibility to others when everything in life says “this one is gonna hurt”. A kitchen life lesson if you will. And sometimes, with a little luck and prayer, it works out for the best. Who’s to say that maybe someone out there reading this now didn’t pass through one of those momma Ida lunch lines. Each day in life we all come across those people who maybe we may not take a second notice of. I’ve come to realize through my career of 28 years in public safety that sometimes you need to show compassion and grace to people. And at times, it is difficult to do. But it is a lesson I learned from mom. And what does my heart good is when our paths cross months or years later and they remember me for the good I did for them. How wonderful this world would be, if we all just helped each other through this lunch line we call life.
Here’s to the moms and lunch ladies everywhere!
A special shout out to all my friends at the “cement pond.” Keep strong!
Andy
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