Party Like a Rock Star!

For Christmas, my husband and I decided to have a Knock-Down Noel Party at our house. TXODT will most likely demolish our house in order to make room to widen a local road (as long as they fairly compensate…they can have whatever they want)

So we wanted to have one really good family gathering at our house before that day came. So our house would see a bona fide traditional Christmas…at least once.

Everything was wonderful – I made lasagna, we had sausages flown in from NYC. The meatballs were flowing next to the provolone, prosciutto, cappicola and so much more.

Did I mention that I made home-made struffoli that was FABULOUS ?

I was really starting to get into my Italian heritage at the start of 2006, but since August, it’s taken on a life of its own. I think it’s the whole cancer thing. I want to make sure that the traditions I made with my mom are stuck in my head so I can incorporate them into my own family.

I am learning Italian – of course, having my husband say he would take me back to my roots didn’t hurt!

So far, I can say cow and cockroach – I live in Texas, what else did you think my first words would be!

As for Christmas…it was GREAT and probably the best one we have had yet…perhaps it’s because my mom proved that she can party like a rock star

(She is going to kill me for posting this picture, but how often do you get to see your cancer battling mother playing Guitar Hero 2…and making this face













Happy New Year Everyone and Blessings to each and every one of you.

My Husband Rocks

Some people will say that I am biased because he’s my husband, but this is no ordinary man, folks.

It’s hard to imagine anyone loving your family as much as you do. You have had enough time to learn to tolerate them and their quirkiness and take the good with the bad.

The day my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my husband offered to re-arrange his schedule and help in any way he could. There were days he drove my mom to her doctor’s appointments, stopped by the house to check on her or just spent some time talking to her on the phone.

He never once made me feel guilty about spending so much time with my mom. He actually told me that being with her was the most important thing – and that’s were he wanted me to be.

There were times we would go someplace and he would say, “Let’s ask your folks to go, I bet they would like it.” He never looked at them as being an imposition …and there are some people that would.

The day that totally melted my heart was after mom my shaved her head. She was very self-conscious about it and wore a little skull cap around the house. When my husband and I stopped by the visit, my mom asked James what he though of his new bald mother-in-law? My husband got up from the couch, walked to my mom and kissed her on that little bald head and told her she looked beautiful. Talk about losing it!

Now, it’s not that my husband is not a sweet guy. But it’s the fact that he did all these things willingly, without me having to ask, he stepped up to the plate and loved my family as if it were his own... not everyone does that.

So for my wonderful husband, I am truly thankful. He has been by reassurance, my shoulder to cry on, my back-up chauffer, comedian and rock for this journey.

I always knew that he loved me, but that love and devotion was magnified to an immeasurable amount.

Thank you, schmoops ... I love you!

There are Days

When someone will say and do something that will make you want to punch them in the face.

Take in it in stride and keep your eye on the prize – getting through chemo and beating cancer.

Cancer will make some people rise to the challenge, while others will fall by the wayside. While you might face some dissapointments, you will be amazed by the strength and commitment from others that will bestowed upon your family during this difficult journey.

For my two sounding boards, my husband (James) and brother (Andy) thank you for listening when I needed to vent. Because of you, Mrs. Beasley did not have to go all Jet Li at times :)

Infusions 2 and 3

Thank God!

Infusions 2 and 3 were a piece of cake compared to numero uno – while my mom is exhausted and her joints hurt (another lovely chemo side affect), she has had little to no nausea and gets around much better after a day 5 of each treatment.

She’s so funny; we have made her doctor’s visits and treatments sort of like mom and daughter bonding time. We go to lunch, stop by a coffee house, stop for some Italian gelato or just drive around in the car and talk – like I said before; cancer sucks but embrace those moments when everything seems to be going in the right direction.

Of course, chemo zaps what strength you have, so my mom feels this urge to apologize for moving a bit slower when we go out. What do I care, I’m the boss and I’ve got all the time in the world.

We finished the last chemo on this first round on November 27th and we get somewhat of a break for Christmas before we face radiation (and whatever) after the New Year.

We are just going to chill and enjoy the season for what it is. Reflecting on all our blessings and having our family all here to enjoy it.

Helpful Hint:

Be patient. There will be times when this might be tested, but remember that chemo takes a lot out of you and you may have to walk a little slower and say things a few more times, but enjoy the opportunity to not have to be moving a million miles a minute.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

While they give you the disclaimer that you may or may not lose your hair, chances are good that you will wake up one day and see little follicles floating down the drain or little bald patches start to appear.

For woman, I would say it is more traumatic to see your hair fall out. Sorry, fellas…we spend millions on coloring, cutting and teasing, so you know we’ll probably take it harder.

Some people will shave their head rather than wait for it to fallout. Some will remain in a holding pattern until they see how much damage the chemo will do. Either way, be prepared.

Before my mom’s hair started to fallout, we sat at the kitchen table for hours picking out a few hats to have on hand incase the inevitable happended. And it’s a good thing to do this BEFORE it happens.

Needless to say, having your hair fall out before the holidays is not a good thing. And the more I saw my mom stare at her hair, the more upset she got. So I asked if she had considered shaving if off? She had been thinking about it and I told her if and when she was ready to do that, we would have a special Hair Today Gone Tomorrow Party for her locks.

A few days went by and after taking her to the local grocery store (so she could stretch her legs and enjoy a once simple task), we stopped for lunch and the conversation came up again. I told her if she wanted to make a day of it, we would get her nails done and show cancer who was boss – and so we did.

Even though your hair is falling out, when you are completely bald, it does take a little getting use to. But once again, in true spunky Ida fashion, when the stylist turned her around for a look in the mirror, she was able to utter those immortal words through her tears …”Deal or No Deal” – I kid you not, I about peed my pants I was laughing so hard and except for the missing soul patch on her chin, she could have easily played Howie Mandel for Halloween.

Maybe it’s because I was on the outside looking in. But after my mom’s hair was whisked away, she said she looked ugly. I looked at her and saw the most beautiful of creatures whose spirit, love and strength radiated to my soul.

Yep..that’s my mom, she might be bald but she’s smoking hot!

Helpful Hints:

Even though it’s falling out, taking that step to shave off what is left is very hard. If you present the idea and are met with some trepidation, leave it alone. Don’t push the subject. Trust me – even though they are taking chemo they will be able to tell you what they want and what they can and can not do – listen and take the lead from that.

Don’t be afraid to make this something special. Chemo patients already feel like crap because their bodies are being ravaged by the drugs. As my mom put it, it was like being turned inside out. So take the time to incorporate some pampering into the day – manicure, pedicure, facial, massage…whatever floats their boat.

If you are going to have someone else to the deed, be sure to give them the heads up. That way they can be prepared for emotions that might surface.

Cancer Times Two

So by now you know that both mom and pop Longo have been diagnosed with cancer. And as I said before, no matter how bad you think you have it, there is always a blessing that can be found …you just have to look and see it for what it truly is.

So what was our blessing, you ask?

My dad’s oncologist wanted to pull out all the stops to save his eye, so he opted for radiation pellets. Bascially, he had surgery were they implanted encspualted, radioactive particules, incased in lead and gold behind his eye and over the tumor.

Again, while no one likes to see their parent suffer, while painful, my dad’s course of treatment allowed him to have day surgery, come home and rest for seven days, then return to the hospital to have the pellets removed.

We were spared having two parents undergoing chemo. That’s the blessing.

Because my dad’s treatment was not as time conusiming as my moms, we were able to divide, conquer and keep everyone going in their pre-determined direction.

My dad is currently in a holding pattern. After they removed the pellets, his follow-up showed that he had no significant loss of vision and as far as the tumor goes, we won’t know anything for a few months until he receives his MRI.

So please feel free to pray that we get some good news in that area in a few months.

Never…Ever..Utter the Words

“Dear Lord, what else can happen” because God will prove to you that he has a sense of humor.

After we got my mom pointed in the right direction, I can remember someone (I can not recall who) uttered those exact words. I think they just come naturally in times of great stress or trying. Just know that at times, you will get an answer to that question!

Remember during my recap of infusion numero uno, I stated that my dad was not present because he had his own issues? Care to guess what that might have been? Come on….any takers?

For those of you that said cancer – you get the gold star for the day. Right after we started my mom’s treatment, my father was diagnosed with a rare eye tumor. I think it’s choroidal melanoma, but I could be mistaken – it’s hard to keep up with one parent with cancer, so imagine two!

I remember standing on the back porch looking at my dad, trying to figure out in my brain how the heck we were going to get through this new development.

Now, we knew that my dad was having an issue with his vision, but we were not really prepared for that. But as we told him later, if he had to get cancer, in true Longo fashion, he at least picked something from the rarely seen category!

I remember calling my brother (Andy) and (without beating around the bush) asking what his week looked like. When he asked why, I told him and said we would have to divide in order to conquer. I think we both broke down into impromptu laughter. Granted there was nothing humorous about out situation. But you know when you get to that point whether you laugh or cry? I don’t think we had anymore cry left, so laughter was the next best thing. :)

Not What I Signed Up For

On day 3 after our first chemo treatment, it’s pretty safe to say that things went down hill pretty darn quick.

I got to my parents house pretty early and my mom was in such excruciating pain. She was light headed and dizzy and could not sit-up. This was by far, the thing I feared most – walking into room and having my mom tell me she did not think she could do this.

Two things can happen at that point, you can either succumb to your own emotional turmoil of seeing someone you love in such pain and doubt, or you reach down deep and figure out how the hell you are going to get them through this and on to the next step.

I picked the latter because I was not ready to let my mom go down that path so soon into treatment and there might have been something we could have done to make this process more bearable for her. Now, some will think that mentality is selfish, but as I told my mom before we started chemo – I firmly believed we could get through this, but if there came a time when she looked at me and said “I can’t do this anymore”, then I would be accept that decision. The one thing I did not want was to see my mom suffer.

So as I sat on her bed playing twenty questions asking what hurt, how was she feeling, what bothered her most … trying to get enough information in the hopes our Dream Team could provide some relief – it became clear.

The main problem was dizziness, and she felt she could feel her heart pounding in her ears. When her oncologist was called and this information was revealed, they asked what her blood pressure was. We had no clue. We were not told to monitor it, but her oncologist told us to take her to her primary care physician ASAP.

Thankfully, my mom’s primary care physician is here in The Colony, We loaded her into the car and whisked her away. After her primary care physician had given her the once over, we found out that her blood pressure had dropped dangerously low – 60 over something I can not remember. We were told that we could take her home if we monitored her blood pressure, gave her plenty of Gatorade and elevated her feet above her head – DONE!

Over the nest few days, my mom started to feel much better and her blood pressure started to rise. It turns out that no one really thought about taking her off her high blood pressure medication before starting chemo. One of the major (possible) side affects of chemo drugs is they drop your blood pressure. So it was like she was taking a double dose of her blood pressure meds. Once we took her off of those – she tolerated the subsequent chemos a million times better!

Helpful Hint:

There is no way on earth you can predict each and everything that can happen when taking chemo. As much as you try to see things coming before they get to an elevated stage, you can’t predict everything. As hard as it is to sometimes do in moments of emotional distress, if you can take the time to ask questions and listen intently to the answers so they can be forwarded to the treating oncologist, there may be a way to offset that side affect so it does not reoccur. Of course if it is an emergency, call 911 and figure it out later, but fortunately for us because we were vigilant we had a little time to address the issue on our own.

The Day After Chemo

Most people will tell you that no two chemo treatments are the same. You might do well with one and suck wind on another – you never know, but you better be prepared for both.

Our Dream Team had ingrained the importance of nutrition and hydration into our little heads and we were prepared when we brought my mom home. The fridge was packed with water, gator-ade, pre-cooked meals, snacks and lord knows what else.

The first two days after chemo were uneventful. My mom was not really in the mood to eat. Chemo does something to your taste buds and you're just not in the mood …and for an Italian that is incomprehensible!

When the above occurs, you have to step in with a little tough love – as a cancer supporter it is your job to gently remind a cancer patient that they have to eat and drink – even if they are small meals. Protein is important as it helps keep your RBC and WBC producing to keep you strong and ready t fight potential infections. Also, it aides in keeping your platelet count up. They monitor your blood counts closely and while they can give you an injection to boost RBC/WBC, the only option for raising platelet counts is a transfusion – an option we were trying to avoid. The fluid’s job is pretty simple, but very important…flush the chemo drugs out of your system quickly and help alleviate some of the side effects.

In the event that a cancer patient is still not consuming enough solid protein – take yourself to the nearest Smoothie Factory and ask them to add a few extra scoops pf whey protein. We usually did this on days 3-5 when the chemo started to “kick in.”

You will fall into a grove were eventually you will stop asking if they are hungry or thirsty – because you know how important it is for these things to be done – even if it means dragging them through it when they don’t have the desire to do it, not because they are giving up, but because they simple feel like crap and are tired.

You find yourself transforming into a mini United Nations – swooping overhead making frequent food and water drops, then circling around to make sure that they are being utilized and not re-routed or stock piled!

Helpful Hints:

Cook those nutritional meals before a cancer patient comes home from chemo. Package them up in small packages and put some in the fridge and freeze the others so they can be taken out and pre-pared with little or non effort. Don’t expect someone on chemo to eat three big meals – it’s not going to happen. And chances are good that they won’t be able to finish the small meals you fix for them. In that case, cut the dead wait and focus on what is important. If you made a turkey sandwich ditch the bread and make sure they eat the turkey. Making soup? Make sure there is more chicken in it then veggies or rice. You will have to adapt based on how they are feeling

Some people have a psychological thing about drinking so much water. You may have to use reverse psychology for this one. Rather than saddle them with a giant water bottle or larger portions of liquid, use the smaller, 8oz bottles of water. While it does require you to bring them fluids more often, it helps to offset the monumental task of drinking so much water in the day – remember small increments work best.

While everyone’s pallet is different and their ability to tolerate certain things during chemo, a great place to start is with the American Cancer Society.

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/HOME/pff/pff_0.asp

Infusion Numero Uno

October 17th was our first infusion treatment. It perplexes me as to why they call it “infusion”? I think of that liquid yogurt every time I hear the word. But I imagine it is better than saying we are going to put poison in your system to kill off just about every living cell in your body? But if you really think about, chemo’s overall objective in the long run is to replace the cells that are harmful to you, with ones that are healthy. So I suppose I can see the rationale of why they call it an “infusion.”

We arrived at Medical City early as they told us it would take a few hours for the infusion to take place. I am sure my mom was nervous because she probably had all those chemo side effects running through her head, combined with the fear of the unknown – it was a bit overwhelming.

From the time we entered the infusion room at Med City, everyone was super nice and attentive. My brother (Andy) and I (my dad had issues of his own – more on that later) got my mom all settled into the big blue chairs and introduced ourselves to the two other families in the infusion room.

You get a lot of perspective meeting other people who have cancer and have faced treatments. Not saying our situation was any less overwhelming or insignificant in comparison, but talk to someone who has had 48 chemo treatments – and you count your blessings as you start your own journey.

As much as it sucked seeing my mom go through surgery and having to gear her up for chemo and radiation, in comparison to some - we were blessed!

Moving forward … they found her vein pretty quickly and started her pre-meds. My mom’s pre-chemo cocktail consisted of benadryl to offset any allergic reaction, decadron to control the nausea and some fluids for hydration. So far …so good and my mom was even able to enjoy a nice lunch of grilled salmon. Hospital food has gone haute cuisine since we were last here!

Once pre-meds were done, next came the chemo – Taxol. This was dripped over a 3 hour period and once they started it, if my mom was going to have an allergic reaction – we would know pretty quick.

After the nurse covered herself in a giant blue, re-enforced lab coat – complete with matching blue gloves, she hung the bag of Taxol and we watched…and watched…and watched. Every few minutes my brother or I would look at my mom and ask “feeling okay”? I am sure she was sick of us asking and staring at her like a fat man eyeing a giant pork chop!

So far…so good, please continue – after the Taxol finished its run through he IV tubing it was time to bring in the Carboplatin. This was the second of the chemo drugs and by far the quickest to drip – by chemo standards. The Carboplatin was hung, still no side effects and after 30 minutes we were ready to go home.

Helpful Hints:

Since I have already disclosed my trepidation about being in hospitals, we brought our own pillow and blanket for my mom to snuggle with. Music is good – be sure to program those Ipods/MP3 players with soothing and enjoyable sounds. Magazines, books a favorite game or some project like writing thank-you cards should be considered – you are going to have a lot of time to get a few things done!

Talk – it’s okay to talk while infusion is going on – you will be able to tell when the person receiving chemo is sick of you and ready to close their eyes for a quick nap. Some people are just little chatter boxes and social by nature, like my mom. You can have some pretty meaningful (and goofy) conversations in the infusion room. Just be mindful of others in the room that might be resting.

Be yourself – my mom said that one of the things she really enjoyed about having me around was my ability to make her laugh. Laughter is the best medicine you know! Obviously, you have to be aware of when and were you joke around, but when it’s appropriate, don’t be afraid to let lose!

Case in point …after 5 hours of sitting in an infusion chair watching bags of chemo drip – you are so ready to go home. During the last 15 minutes of the carboplatin my mom looked at me and asked if that stuff could hurry it up a little …without skipping a beat I told her I had been secretly contemplating squeezing the bag for the past hour, but I was afraid she would smack me! After a good belly laugh (complete with snort) my mom reached over, grabbed my hand and said “You always make me smile.”

It’s cancer, people…it sucks but every now and then those rays of hope and joy come rushing through – embrace them!

It’s Her Party…

and she can have it anyone she pleases!

Here’s the deal, in order to make chemo easy on the patient, they have this thing called a port. It is basically a round device, surgically implanted under the skin that gives medical personal access to veins in order to administer drugs, chemo and to draw blood.

Of course with most things in life, you have options – port or being stuck with an IV each time you have chemo. Most people will pick the port because they probably want something convenient, don’t like being stuck with needles a zillion times or have to do some significant rounds of chemo. However, some people may not want to have the port.

This was my mom’s decision – forego the port. You have to remember that she just had her first major surgery a month ago and she was in no mood to have any shape, form or function of surgery in her near future. She at least wanted to try chemo once without the port. If she could get through the treatments that way great! If it was too difficult to get to the veins, her doctors said no big deal – a port could be implanted later.

Helpful Hint:

While your opinion may be solicited, in the end it is up to the person taking the treatment. You may not agree with it, it may not have been what you would have chose and it may not go as easily as one might assume, but none the less – be supportive.

If you see things are not going as planned, be encouraging and comforting until the treatment is completed, otherwise it causes extra stress for the patient – and that’s just another additive that they don’t really need. If you still have an opinion on the matter, address it at a later date.

Introducing the Dream Team

These are the people that are going to work their mojo to beat your cancer into remission. They are the ones that plan out the treatment plan, monitor your progress, answer your questions and even wipe away your tears.

My mom was blessed with the most phenomenal gynecological oncologist on the face of this (or any other) planet …and his staff members were not slouches either.

Dr. Alan Munoz is not only a skilled surgeon, but one of the most compassionate individuals I think I have ever met. But I imagine when cancer is your business; you have to have some pretty special gifts not only as a surgeon but as a human being.

There is a reason that this man has been named by Texas Monthly as a Texas Super Doctor and by D Magazine as a Best Doctor.

Now, having those kinds of well-founded accolades, means that you are going to be pretty darn busy in the operating room...so you better have a remarkeable staff that handles the day-to-day tasks, treatment over-view and can field the zillion questions that people are going to ask. And that is exactly what he has in Jeri Ann, Michele, Leeann, Karen and others I might not have met, or worse …might have forgotten!

Each and every time I took my mom to that office, those ladies treated her like she was the only one in their care. (Completely false because that office is jumping) While I am sure they were swamped, they always took the time to ask how she was doing, answered our questions and offered some reassuring words of encouragement and random hugs. They even had enough left over to slip a hug my way …and there were days that it was greatly appreciated!

There is a lot of love, faith and strength in that office that a patient and their family can draw upon.

Not that I wish cancer on anyone, but if you or a loved one is every facing gynecological cancer – hands down, Dr. Alan Munoz’s practice is where you want to be.

Thank you “Dream Team” for all you have done for my mom and for making this journey a bit more bearable!

Keep Us Informed

Once word got out that my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer and had to go through chemo, there were a lot of phone calls and emails sent and answered.

We tried to keep everyone informed and reassure them that we were doing fine and how things were progressing. Thank the Lord for email!

Sometimes when you tell people that someone is ill, they create this mental picture that is not particularly accurate. With cancer, I think sometimes people just assume the worse case scenario.

Even though I would tell people that my mom was doing well and making great strides recovering for surgery and that we were ready to face chemo, I found that it really helped if we sent photos.

Incase you can’t read her my mom’s t-shirt, it says “my oncologist is better than your oncologist.” …and this was a week post-op – the woman is a cancer fighting beast!














Helpful Hint:
Family and friends are concerned but sometimes they won’t contact you because they feel they are being intrusive. During this time it might be difficult to respond to each and every inquiry, so you will have to get a little creative. If you can, set aside an hour a day to write an email update or blog that you send to family and friends – it helps keep them informed and can assist in alleviating some of their worries. If you can not to it yourself, have someone do it for you. People want to help during this stressful time – let them. Have them email updates or make phone calls that be structured like one of those tree calling systems. That way, no one person has to do it all …and include photos if you can.

Anything Up There

I will be the first one to tell you, that when my mom was diagnosed with cancer this time, I think I became a little more vigilant. As a family, chemo was new to us and when they started rambling off all the things associated with chemo therapy, it’s certainly not something you take lightly.

As a cancer supporter, you have to be on your toes and not be afraid to ask questions.

Case in point, when she got that little bump on her head, she not only developed a little lumpy spot but a significant bruise. Now, considering she didn’t break any skin, or have any signs of headache or blurred vision – a lot of emphasis (or second thought) was placed on that bump, other than it looked liked she went two rounds with Tyson!

But here is where the vigilance comes into play. I found that while I was in the presence of my mom, I was like a jungle cat laying in wait amongst the tall grassy leaves – silently waiting for any signs of difficulty. It’s a double-edged sword. You have to allow a cancer patient to do things for themselves – that’s what gives them hope and power to know that they are improving and kicking cancer’s ass. But you also have to be anticipatory in your thinking – always being a few steps ahead so you can spot the potential for trouble before it gets to you.

Soon after that bump on her head, I was having a conversation with my mom and I looked at her head and something in my mind, went wait a minute! For whatever reason, at that particular moment my brain decided to retrieve some information I learned in school. (You know that information that you question when you will ever use it again in your lifetime!) I recalled that a bruise is nothing more than damaged capillaries bleeding into surrounding tissue.

So why would my brain focus on that when we had more important things to consider? Because my subconscious was looking out for my mom – bleeding capillaries combined with blood thinners can not be a good thing!

I asked my mom if she had called her oncologist and informed him about the fall. She replied with a “No.” I didn’t want to scare her, but I told her we should probably make them aware of the situation, so I called.

Good thing! Because she was on blood thinners for that pesky DVT, there was a chance that those bleeding capillaries were not clotting and if they were left to bleed we could not proceed with the chemo in a few days. Her oncologist told us to take her for a CT scan ASAP.

Thankfully, everything was declared okay and my mom was told to rest for the next few days before we started chemo.

Helpful Hint:
Don't be afraid to call your health care team with any questions. You might think that you are pestering them, but they will quikcly reassure you that it is okay. There are no stupid questions and that is what they are there for. Rely on their knowledge as a vital resource.