The 3 Wise Guys

Today was a momentous day – it was the last of the radiation treatments. It was Graduation Day and in true LoCo fashion, we pulled out all of the stops.

Andy and I had synchronized our watches the night before in order to converge upon Casa de Longo at our usual pick-up time. We will not know until March whether this race is over, but for now we are celebrating this mile marker for what it is – a noteworthy accomplishment!

We arrived at Medical City determined to depart the “old school” way. Mom always told us that you never go to someone’s house empty handed and you never leave someone’s house without thanking them for their kind hospitality –and some how just saying “thanks” did not convey our gratitude for the care and compassion the Dream Team, Part Deux, had shown to our mom. So, in the words of Emeril, we kicked it up a notch …BAM!

As mom entered the doors of the “forbidden zone” she was flanked on each side by a child. We looked like the Three Wise Men …ummm…I mean Wise Guys (it’s an Italian thing) and instead of carrying garlic, marina and parmigiano reggiano; we were bringing cookies and flowers. :o)

It was a day filled with a certain duality, as mom made the rounds handing our pink Gerber daisies to all the staff and fellow patients she had met during the past month. It’s very surreal to feel both sadness and joy co-exist at the same time and in the same place. While they will be sad to see her go, they should take great pride in their life saving work that has allowed her to move forward.

Her staff gathered together one last time to present mom with a bracelet that they had made from the inner, cardboard circle of a role of masking tape. For anyone “not in the know” this object that adorned mom’s wrist was just a cardboard circle. But for those who are privy to the story, it is a prized possession that contains an immeasurable amount of love, compassion, strength and blessings that have been shared between momisan and her radiation team for the past twenty-five days…and those are sentiments that will never be forgotten.

As we made our final round through the radiation ward, we bid a fond farewell to the Dream Team, Part Deux and loaded mom into the car for a victory lap around the parking lot before we headed for home.

As we turn the page in this chapter of the book, I think it is important to once again mention the radiation staff at Dr. Macko’s office. Simply saying “Thank You” does not seem to be enough. It takes a special calling to deal with those battling Cancer and each and every one of you will hold a special place in our prayers for simply being such amazing individuals.

Like I stated in the first-paragraph, today was about saying good-bye the “old-school” way. Sometimes we have the tendency to forego the extra mile when saying “thank you” to those that went above and beyond for us. It does not have to be anything extravagant. It can be a simple handwritten letter or a batch of home-made cookies, the end result is the same …it is gratitude that comes from the heart that is most meaningful.

Thank you all for your love, prayers and continued well wishes – we feel them each and every day.

Val

(Mom and her Dream Team, Part Deux)



(The 3 Wise Guys Post-Graduation)

Pre-Graduation Day!

I am such a slacker….I just now realized that I am almost a week behind in blogging! Last week was a bit hectic and truth be told, I am just plain tired.

My kitchen looks like an annex forest for the Keebler Elves. I wanted to do something nice for mom’s radiation team, so I have been baking and decorating Valentine’s Day cookies since yesterday. Sure, I could have bought them but nothing says “thanks” like taking the time to do them yourself.

But the good news is that tomorrow is radiation treatment number 25 and it’s Graduation Day for momisan!!!

I arrived at Casa de Longo to find a weeping mother in her chair. Of course, I always think something is wrong, but she said she just missed me over the weekend. It’s so funny because I call her and try not to be a pest and drop by (I think she needs to rest) and she says she won’t call me because she thinks I need some rest and alone time with the hubby. I told her today that she is so used to seeing me everyday, that I may have to start a twelve step program to wean her off ChemoSabe!

I noticed fuller follicles today and some of the hair is growing in as darker circles while the rest is salt and pepper. I call it the Reverse Jay Leno! ;)

It was a rainy, gloomy day today so we left a little earlier for the hospital. I told mom I am really going to miss my morning words of wisdom and lively debates that take place as we toodle down the Tollway. But I am sure once she is well, we will find other adventures that will be more enjoyable than chemo or radiation.

We arrived at Medical City and mom vanished behind the “forbidden zone” as I took my usually seat in the waiting area. I have met so many wonderful people in the last month and there is only one other patient (and his wife, Melody) that has been going as long as mom – his last day is Valentine’s Day.

I have had the privilege to talk with Melody on an almost daily basis. Her husband is also battling Stage 4 Cancer of the Tonsils. I never knew one could get Cancer of the tonsils, but I have learned over the past few months that Cancer can invade just about any nook and cranny that is wants to. Melody’s husband has lost his voice and the ability to salivate due to the radiation, but he comes in every morning with a smile. She is studying theology and has yet to decide her calling. Melody and I have often discussed just how random Cancer is. There is no accurate profile for who will likely become its next victim – it’s completely random and I think that is what makes it so menacing.

Mom emerged from her treatment 25 minutes later, with a little mixed emotion about tomorrow. While she is anxious to move on, she is going to miss her radiology team and they her. It’s corny to say, but these angels become like family, so it’s hard not to get a lump in the throat…after all they have saved the life of momisan!

We left the hospital and stopped off for a Cup of Joe and a little shopping and in the back of mind; I could not help but think about my conversation with Melody today.

Not that I would wish Cancer on anyone, but at times I wonder what the world would be like if we saw people through Cancer’s eyes – random and non-discriminating. Cancer doesn’t care about someone’s skin color, religion, education or income. Nor does it care about which side of the tracks you live on or what kind of car you drive – everyone is equal and taken at face value. I imagine there might be a lot less hatred and more love and helpfulness if we could view each other like the Big C!

Until tomorrow…find you blessings and thank you for all the love and prayers that have sustained us for the past six months – we are more than half way there!

Val

For battling cancer with honor, distinction and for being admired by fellow survivors, I herby declare that tomorrow, February 13th 2007, Ida Longo (with a major in radiation and a minor in chemo) will graduate Magna Cum Laude from Radiation U!

Don't Wig Out!

Today was just “one of those days.” We all have them and when you have Cancer you sometimes have more than your fair share of them.

I was not on the radiation rotation schedule today but my poor niece had been sick all night. So rather than expose my mom to germs, I got the call that most pitchers dream about in the big league. I was being called from the bull pen to head to the mound!

I scurried through the house exchanging my bunny slippers for tennis shoes and out the door I went. I arrived at Casa de Longo to find a weary woman ready to crawl back into bed and just pull the covers over her head. Mom looked tired and the side effects of the radiation had really kicked in today.

Unfortunately, anytime you are having your stomach or abdomen irradiated, you can get nauseous and at times it is very similar to chemo. Mom was beside herself with worry as to whether she could make the thirty minute drive without the “chunkage.” Now here’s where a true blue ChemoSabe can either take a situation from bad to worse, or from bad to better. Without skipping a beat, I grabbed her pink “chunkage” bucket, a roll of paper towels and a back-up shirt. Then I looked her square in the eye and said, “whatever you toss my way, I got it covered.” So after a few minutes of composing herself and downing a Zofran (a Cancer patient’s best friend) we were on our way.

Since we were running late, I was traveling down the Tollway at a pretty good clip, when I heard the sounds of muffled sniffles to my right. Now, anyone that has been around a Cancer patient can attest to the fact that it is sometimes a roller coaster ride of emotion. So as I asked mom what was upsetting her, she managed to squeak out something about me being on a shelf somewhere in the Stork’s factory with “Reserved for Ida Longo” affixed to some appendage on my person. It took me a few minutes to process what she was trying to say, I thought it was that pesky ChemoBrain again! :o) But then she uttered, “thank you for being my daughter” and I understood in an instant what she was trying to say.

Cancer is not an easy foe to wage war on. But no matter how bad it gets (both physically and emotionally) if you are able to keep your composure no matter what situation arises, you can weather the storm and ride the wave to calmer seas. That’s’ the key.

As we got closer to the hospital, mom said I could probably drive to Medical City with my eyes closed. And no sooner had she finished that sentence then a Stevie Wonder song started to play on the radio. How ironic is that? As I belted out my rendition of “I Just Called to Say I Love You,” I thought I would perplex the people driving beside me by swaying my head side-to-side ala Stevie. Let’s just say it caused people to do a double take, which in turn made mom laugh.

We got to the radiation appointment on time and after thirty-five minutes, we were good to go. I had totally forgotten that I promised to take mom to a wig boutique that specializes in cancer patients. But as we headed out the door, she asked if we had time to go – Zofran is a miracle drug my friends!

Mimi’s Boutique is a Cancer patient’s dream – wall to wall wigs and head coverings in every style and color one could imagine. The stylists were wonderfully compassionate and understanding and after an hour of trying on hair, momma got a new look. Her new doo is not only stylish, but I was surprised to see her embrace one with highlights. She said she wanted something with pizzazz and indeed she got what she asked for.

Of course, when you are used to looking at a shiny cranium for the past three months, the wig does take a bit of getting use to, but I think she looks B-E-A-UTIFUL!

On our way home, we stopped off at a local restaurant to get a salad for lunch and what started out to be the day from hell, turned out to be salvageable in the end. As we exited the restaurant, I spotted a giant chili pepper and told mom to strike a pose. Can you guess which one is hotter!?

My lesson for the day is no matter what happens, don’t wig out! It does not benefit anyone, especially a cancer patient, to get upset, angry or to lose your composure over something that they have no control over. Remain calm and stay focused on the big picture – doing whatever you have to do to get them over that hump.

Val

(Mom's new Scooby...Dooby....doo.)

(Ida pecked a peck of mammoth peppers.)

It's a Walk in the Park

There is never a dull weather moment in Texas. Just yesterday I was telling you about the surprise snow flurries we had on Friday and today, it was hard to believe that it was winter!

I arrived at Casa de Longo and transported mom to Medical City to start the last seven radiation treatments – Sha-ZAM!!

We arrived at the radiology department to see a group of new faces. There were a lot of people that were starting their treatment plan today. While mom was receiving her therapy, I had the opportunity to meet a lovely woman that was there to get a routine scan to make sure her cancer was in remission. She had come to her appointment alone and while we were talking, a man snuck up behind her and gave her a big hug and kiss that brought the woman to tears. As she later explained, it was her husband. Unknowing to his wife, he had left work early to be with her and you could tell that one, unsolicited, unselfish act meant the world to her.

As the woman and her husband conversed, I returned to my new hobby. Courtesy of Cancer, I am learning to crochet. I have always wanted to learn, but I rarely had time to just sit and do it. But being in hospital waiting rooms for the past five months, I have more sedentary time on my hands then I know what to with. Now, I have only been crocheting for a week so I have been practicing the basic technique. And while I do not have a colossal blanket or beanie cap to show for it, I must say that I have a pretty good looking worm! And just like I did with my macaroni necklace, circa 1975, I presented my worm for mom’s approval with the same enthusiasm and sense of accomplishment. She wants me crochet her a blanket, but I insisted on starting with something small …how about some hair? ;o)

Mom joined me in the waiting room and decided to sit for a spell. Once she was settled in, the woman I mentioned above asked me if I had made the hat mom was wearing (that snazzy white one that looks like a snow ball.) Mom said no, but she did buy it for me. They continued their conversation and it turned out that the lady had gone through a year’s worth of chemo to treat cervical cancer.

As we left Medical City and headed to the car, I could hear mom utter, “Thank You, Lord” under her breathe. I knew exactly what she meant. While her journey has not been easy, there are others whose journey has been longer and more difficult and we both prayed that the Good Lord continue to bless the woman with remission.

We drove out of the parking lot and the warmth of the sun could be felt through the windows. I asked mom if she needed to go anywhere today and she said that she would like to get a cup of coffee and just sit outside and enjoy the pleasant day. I told her I knew the perfect place.

We made a detour to Starbucks were I got two Frozen Frappacinos and a small piece of coffee cake that we could split. I drove mom to Bishop Park. It’s a lovely area in the midst of an urban town center that has shops, restaurants and a common area with benches by a lake. I found a place to park and we took a small walk to a bench and laid out our little Starbuck’s picnic.

You could hear the chirping of the birds and we enjoyed a simple conversation under a brilliant blue sky without a cloud in sight. We were flanked by a wide assortment of flowers and the rippling water in the lake served as the perfect backdrop. I would catch glimpses of mom from the corner of my eye…sitting their slurping her frappacino, breathing in and out and warming herself in the sun.

We spent at least two hours just sitting there talking about a wide array of topics and as we were getting ready to leave, mom leaned over and said it had been a beautiful day…and indeed it had been.

Once again, Cancer left a blessing at our feet. Sometimes the most memorable things in life do not come with a price tag affixed to them. There are times that we must be reminded to just be in the moment and take pleasure in the every day things we frequently take for granted or that go by unnoticed because we are too busy.

Here’s hoping you have time for a walk in the park today!

Val

(Shhh...no slurping!)

(This Frappacino moment brought to you by Team LoCo.)

(Such a delicate little flower...when she's not smacking you with her cane!)

(Here's my worm making skills put to good use. Is it me, or does mom look like a blonde Princess Leah from Star Wars?)

Jolly Green and Niblet

Well, I am a few days late in posting the events of my designated day…but as mom always says, “better late than never.” :)

It turns out that Friday brought a weather phenomenon to Texas that we do not see that often – snow! Yes, Virginia…there is snow in Texas. Now, it’s not the kind I remember as a kid growing up in Long Island. That kind of snow allowed us to build igloos and tunnel from one end of the block to the other. This kind of snow is usually miniscule in accumulation, but just the right consistency to make a few good snow balls.

I awoke to news reports regarding treacherous bridges and overpasses in the county where we live. During winter weather, that seems to be our demise – those pesky, high bridges and overpasses freezing and causing gridlock. But reports indicated that the place we needed to get to, downtown Dallas, did not reap any of the treachery of the wintry mix. So if figured I could easily make the journey.

It just so happens that my husband, James, was off on Friday. And for those of you that do not know, he is in law enforcement so when it comes to me, he is very protective and worries about my safety. I chalk that up to all the crazies he comes into contact with on a daily basis. So my knight in “blue armor” volunteered to be the wheel man.

We arrived at Cass de Longo on time and mom was ecstatic to see my husband – the woman loves that boy as if he were one of her own. Thankfully he’s not because that would make our marriage illegal, unless we lived in Arkansas! :)

We piled into the car and headed to Medical City. As we approached the doors leading to the “forbidden zone” mom was greeted by a fellow radiation patient. They chit-chatted for a while and when mom rejoined me and my husband, she said that the gentleman always tells her how beautiful she is and what a wonderful smile she has. Now even though mom is married, I think it makes anyone feel good when another person finds them attractive and as mom said, “Especially considering I am an old, bald woman.” So as she proceeded through the doors, I was reminded of Sandra Bullock’s character (Gracie Heart) in Miss Congeniality. And as mom started through the doors, I started to sing... "He thinks you’re sexy…he wants to kiss you.” Needless to say, mom giggled down the hall like a school girl. It’s amazing how kind words, even from a stranger, can lift one’s spirits.

The inclement weather worked in our favor today. There were a lot of treatment cancellations, so we were in and out in record time – fifteen minutes. As mom re-emerged from the treatment area, my husband looked surprised that it did not take longer. “Not to worry” mom said. “That gives us time to have some lunch.”

We arrived at a local burger joint and while my mom isn’t much of a “burger kind of gal,” she will kill you with her folk for the cheese fries they serve at this place. So as we settled into our booth, an old saying popped into my head – “you can tell a lot about a man in the way he treats his mother.” And as I watched my husband help my mom off with her coat, assist her getting in and out of the booth and guiding her gently along when we were ready to leave, I had an ah-ha moment. While that old saying may be true, you can tell more about a man in how he treats YOUR mother. Like I posted in another blog, I didn’t really ask my husband to step up to this challenge. He did so willing and without having to be asked – he loves my mom as if she were his own and I think that speaks volumes as to the type of man I married.

As my husband and mom continued to walk, they conversed on a plethora of topics. Some of which I promised not to blog about – not because they are shocking…but let’s just say that my husband sees my mom in a whole new light. She is a humorous handful! :o)

As they continued to walk and talk, my husband towered over my mom. They looked like the Jolly Green Giant and Niblet! I decided to lurk in the background, not because I did not have anything to say, but because I was enjoying the moment of being on the outside looking in - watching my husband and mom interact on such an intense level.

I sat in the back of the car and as we headed home, James and mom continued their chosen topic of discussion. My husband pointed out that in his line of work; it sometimes frustrates him that people automatically assume the worse case scenario. When they see the police, something is wrong or someone is usually in trouble for breaking the law. While it might be true in some of the cases, it is not always an accurate picture one-hundred percent of them time. Sometimes you see officers parked on the side of the road catching up on paper work or simply talking with each other. There are times you might see an officer walk into a school, not because there is an emergency but to leave lunch money for their child or be the guest speaker at a show and tell. And sometimes you might see an officer escorting someone across a parking lot; not because that person broke the law, but perhaps they found time, in an otherwise abnormal schedule, to have lunch with a significant other or friend. It’s all about perspective.

Cancer is a lot like that. People just presume because one is diagnosed with Cancer that means an automatic end. You have the Big C and that’s that. But in a lot of cases that is just not the case …and if you don’t believe that, just look at the photos of my bald, mature mother who is beating Stage 4 cancer! I imagine if you were a casual bystander looking at my mom, you might think the worse case scenario or assume she's in trouble - healthwise. But I guarantee if you are on the inside, looking out, you would witness all the joys and blessings and rather than focusing on just the negative ...you would be hopefully optimistic.

It’s all about perspective.

Val

(Jolly Green and Niblet)

(Proof that it does snow in Texas!)

The Talk

Submitted by Andy ....and I am going to require some type of therapy on this one ... :o(
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A favorite past time at our house is to catch an episode or two of Everyone Loves Raymond. God bless the TIVO! The show seems to epitomize the Long Island Italian family structure and how they work their way through life and its many questions. The episode we saw tonight was Raymond trying to tell his daughter about sex and why we are on the earth? What is the meaning of life? Amazing mom and I had a similar discussion today on the way to the hospital. What the heck went wrong? It took 48 years to get “the talk” and learn the meaning of life. I think I got the sex part figured out by now, but we talked about how relationships progress over the years.

One of my favorite mental photos, is the financial investment commercial that shows a young man running through a park passing an elderly couple walking hand in hand in the park. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. And that one speaks volumes.

I was half kidding talking to mom, that as she worked through her daily meditation she put in a good word for me that as the years passed, the bada bing still had that zing. But before you go off with OH MY GOSH, you have to remember that the blog is our sharing our life with you, looking inward. And taking ourselves seriously sometimes is not as much fun as laughing at life together.

But getting back to the picture of the older couple, mom and I agreed that what makes a couple a couple is not any specific moment in time. It is a composition of many life experiences over the long haul. It is the hours of the day that turn into weeks, months and years of togetherness. The day you bring your child home, get a dog, buy your first home, burn dinner, wreck a car without getting hurt, see your child off to school, walk them down the isle, and on and on and on.

All these things both good and not so good, play out into the motion picture we call our life. And as mom frequently says; “It’s all good.” Its how we deal with each of these events and share both the laughs and burdens with those who are important to us.

Understanding always that love is the act of easing the hurt when you fall off your bike. Love is the act of saying I’m sorry when it wasn’t your fault. Love is the act of helping your child into their car seat, or a parent out of the car when they don’t move as quickly as they used to. Love is teaching a child to walk for the first time, or doing a moonwalk into the Doctors office with your mom. Love is what you make of it and how you share it.

At school, my daughters told me of a program pennies for patients. They are collecting pennies to help those stricken by Leukemia and other illness. I thought it was noteworthy that they wanted to go to their bank and get some money out of their bank accounts to give to the cause. It’s never too early to learn to love. Happy that they figured it out so early in the game.

Hello Dolly!

Submitted by Andy ----------

We have talked before about introspection and how the travel time to the hospital these past few months has allowed us time to talk, thing and remember. Today, when we were driving to Dallas, I just had to tell mom that somehow this experience has transformed her into our version of a great sage. I asked her if she had some extra time in her week, if she wouldn’t mind setting up a little “life works” kiosk on the side of a hill, giving her take on the world in general.

I found it amazing that some of the greatest political minds in the world were having difficulty resolving some of our generations biggest problems, and to some extent made a larger mess of things. Mom after all and by her own admission, has seen some pretty good and pretty heart wrenching things during her years. Maybe the key to making the planet a better place to live is to entrust it’s future in the moms of the worlds? Can you imagine the United Nations, Congress, Parliament or Tribal Councils composed only of mothers? Having a discussion in the kitchen, while stirring over a pot of sauce. Working through the differences without war or hate, having a mutual respect for the other and realizing that it is OK to disagree sometimes. I think we sometimes take for granted the wealth of knowledge and acute awareness that comes from our elders and our young as well.

I’d like to share a personal photo with you all. Kristen at religious education class over the weekend made a Prayer Box. And in that Prayer Box she was to draw a photo of the person she felt needed her prayers. I’ll let you see for yourself the TWO people she picked. Take a look at the detail of the photos, and the simplicity of the photos. Says a lot huh?

So take some time as you travel your day to listen to the young and those wise old birds in your life. I’ve truly enjoyed the time I have spent with the Dolly Momma, and my daughters help keep me grounded on what is important. You just may learn something, you thought you already knew!