When I walked into the house, I found mom sitting in her chair, sporting my favorite hat. It is white and made from “eye-lash” yarn – so named because it is very fine, soft and fluttery. Now, this hat reminds me of a childhood snack food – sno-balls. While I thought they were disgusting for human consumption, they were prefect for squeezing. They were like an early version of the stress ball. So as I secured my little “sno-ball” into the truck for transport to Medical City, I could not help but succumb to the urge to squeeze her head. To which she replied, “What are you doing”? “Checking for freshness” I said as I clicked her safety belt in place. Now, since I was in close proximity, I was expecting a smack on the back of the head. But instead I was greeted with a hearty laugh that signaled she was ready to “get this show” on the road.
On the way to Medical City, one of the topics of discussion was a walking cane. I had mentioned to mom a few months ago that it might be something for her to consider…and left it at that. I knew when and if she needed to get one, she would tell me. And it just so happened, this was the day. Now, the cancer and chemo has definitely taken its toll and there are days that she needs a little extra help because she has one knee that acts up a bit. I explained that I would much rather she get a cane and use it when necessary than to risk falling. Who knows, she may not need it long term but better safe than sorry.
The treatment room was running on schedule today and as I escorted mom into the holding area, I got all squishy watching her walk down he hall with people commenting on her hat and how nice she looked. Her nurse pulled me aside and said even they look forward to seeing “the hat” of the day. I told her it’s amazing how I can gage how mom feels simply based on what she is wearing and if she has on make-up – it’s a girl thing! ;)
While we were talking, my mom’s nurse was helpful in providing me the name and location of a medical supply store that offered a wide assortment of walking canes. So armed with that information, I sat in the waiting room waiting for mom to emerge.
I soon spotted my Abominable Sno Ball from the corner of my eye and as I helped her put on her coat, I told her that I had done a little cane recon and if she were feeling up to it, we could take a few models out for a test spin.
Not that I have been to many medical supply stores, but for some reason I had this mental picture in my head of stainless steel accessories in a giant warehouse…that would not have made mom happy. But we were both pleasantly surprised. This was actually a historic building that housed a pharmacy, gift shop and medical accessories under one roof.
As mom took a few models around the block, the salesman asked why she was considering a cane. I gave him the condensed version of the past five months and said that I would prefer she have something that she can lean on (if needed) and it needed to be soft for her hands because she has a touch of arthritis. As mom circled the block, she added that it had to be stylish – how could I forget that!
So as the salesman pulled a few models that fit the bill, mom uttered that at least she made it to eighty before she had to get a cane. This statement caused the salesman to look at me with an all too familiar look. “Yes, she is indeed eighty and ever night I pray that it is genetic.” The salesman smiled and told mom that he was guessing more along the lines of sixty-ish. Well you can imagine how that was received!
We walked out of the store arm in arm with her new lightweight titanium, powder coated black cane …and it was tough getting her back into the vehicle. She was all swelled up like a giant peacock – Big Hambone! :)
Mission accomplished and on the way home, I looked over at mom. She was sitting there with her cane upright, hand propped on top. She looked like the Godfather, or in this case, Godmother! And as we are driving down the Tollway, headed home, she reaches over and grabs my hand. She squeezes real tight (she’s gotten freakishly strong since chemo) and says “Thank you for always being so patient with me.”
I explained to mom that earlier in the week, I had heard a sermon from a very dynamic, young minister in Texas named Joel Osteen. His sermon was about loyalty to family. He pointed out that there are times when people you know will be celebrating victories on the mountain top or fighting like hell in the valleys – it is your job, as a loyal person, to get them to the top of that mountain. It is your job to build them up and speak kindly to keep them moving towards that mountain. He further explained that life is like a big circle. There will come a time in everyone’s life when they will be called to do for those who first did for them. I told mom she called and I answered, plain and simple.
Proverbs 17:17 states that a friend loves at all times, but a brother is born for adversity. My mother often tells me that I am her “miracle child” because she had me when she was in her early forties. I don’t know if that’s a true statement or not, but I do know that each and every night I thank the good Lord for allowing me to be a loyal daughter for my mom – it hasn’t always been easy, but then again adversity never really is. But when I started this journey five and a half months ago, we were in that valley, pretty much face down in the dirt and now look at us …halfway to the summit with the ability to look down on that valley and see just how far we have come.
So when you come across someone facing a challenge or any type of uncertainty in their lives, be loyal to them. Don’t be so quick to leave them alone in the valley. After all, the climb to the top of the mountain is never achieved without some type of assistance.
In the words of “momisan” – be kind, be loving …and family is always first.
(mmmmm....tasty.......)
The Godmother!
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