Hello Dolly!

Submitted by Andy ----------

We have talked before about introspection and how the travel time to the hospital these past few months has allowed us time to talk, thing and remember. Today, when we were driving to Dallas, I just had to tell mom that somehow this experience has transformed her into our version of a great sage. I asked her if she had some extra time in her week, if she wouldn’t mind setting up a little “life works” kiosk on the side of a hill, giving her take on the world in general.

I found it amazing that some of the greatest political minds in the world were having difficulty resolving some of our generations biggest problems, and to some extent made a larger mess of things. Mom after all and by her own admission, has seen some pretty good and pretty heart wrenching things during her years. Maybe the key to making the planet a better place to live is to entrust it’s future in the moms of the worlds? Can you imagine the United Nations, Congress, Parliament or Tribal Councils composed only of mothers? Having a discussion in the kitchen, while stirring over a pot of sauce. Working through the differences without war or hate, having a mutual respect for the other and realizing that it is OK to disagree sometimes. I think we sometimes take for granted the wealth of knowledge and acute awareness that comes from our elders and our young as well.

I’d like to share a personal photo with you all. Kristen at religious education class over the weekend made a Prayer Box. And in that Prayer Box she was to draw a photo of the person she felt needed her prayers. I’ll let you see for yourself the TWO people she picked. Take a look at the detail of the photos, and the simplicity of the photos. Says a lot huh?

So take some time as you travel your day to listen to the young and those wise old birds in your life. I’ve truly enjoyed the time I have spent with the Dolly Momma, and my daughters help keep me grounded on what is important. You just may learn something, you thought you already knew!

Mother Smucker

Today was a day filled with more blessings than we could shake mom’s cane at. I arrived at Casa de Longo amid a flurry of snowflakes. While it did not last long, it was truly magical the way they bounced off my windshield as I headed to pick mom up.

When I got to her house, I burst through the door, yelling, “It’s snowing!” Of course mom panicked and asked whether it was safe to drive all the way to Dallas. I assured her that we had nothing to worry about. They were ascetically pleasing snow flurries. The kind that just make you go WOW without causing you to slip and slide into your fellow travelers.

As I walked mom to the car, she stopped and tilted her head back to catch a few flurries on her tongue. She said it made her feel like a kid. It was one of those moments that just put a lump in your throat.

During our drive to Medical City mom told me that when I dropped her off yesterday, she had received an unexpected surprise. Her friend Ethel had called and wanted to stop by to give mom something. Mom said that they visited for awhile and then her dear friend presented her with a quilt. This quilt had been made for mom by some very remarkable woman at Holy Cross Catholic Church. Their calling is to use their creative talents to make quilts for the sick, have them blessed and then bring them by to provide comfort for those facing a severe illness. It was absolutely beautiful and to know that it was made with such love and sincere well wishes for a full recovery makes it something to be cherished for ever.

As we made our way through the sliding doors leading to the radiology wing, I could tell it was probably going to be a longer than normal visit. After mom signed in, I escorted her through the “forbidden zone” and settled into a chair to watch the snowflakes fall. After a few minutes had passed, Peter, the little boy who has been there as long as my mom, emerged and reunited with his mom. Sometimes it’s hard not to over hear someone else’s’ conversation, but Peter and his mom were elated that tomorrow was his “graduation” day. That’s what the staff calls a patient’s last radiation treatment. As Peter and his mom walked passed me, he smiled at me and his mom wished me a good day. I told her that tomorrow was my day off and since I probably would not see them again, I wanted to wish them both a journey filled with blessings and good health – Peter is a remarkable young man who I am sure will do great things in his life.

I continued to observe the snowflakes fall. What started out as small little specs, evolved into fluffy, Texas sized flakes …dancing their way to the ground below. Mom appeared from behind the “forbidden zone” about an hour later. Today’s session was a bit longer due to x-rays and the weekly consultation with her radiologist. As she sat in the chair, she leaned over and grabbed my hand and told me that Dr. Macko said she was doing phenomenal...DUH!

I know some might think that at the age of 80, mom should have forgone the surgery and treatment …after all, 80 is a pretty good number and the road to recovery has not been easy. But Dr. Macko told mom today that for a woman of her maturity she is in exceptional health and she has at least another twenty years. I told mom I already had visions of her face gracing the label of a Smucker’s jar on the Today show! :o)

Our final blessing of the day came in the form of a road trip. Since it’s no longer a surprise, I can blog about it. My mom’s brother is celebrating his 90th birthday in a few weeks and due to her illness, she did not think she could make the trip…especially crammed into coach on a flying Petri dish.

But after discussing it with my husband, James, we decided to “gift” some air miles so mom could travel first class and be with her siblings on this momentous occasion. As her brother, Frank pointed out, it may be one of the last times all of the siblings will be together since they are maturing and traveling becomes more difficult.

Not to mention, my heart knows that my mom needs to physically see her siblings. They need to be able to pinch, hug, kiss and spend time together in order to reaffirm that my mom is doing well. There is just so much a blog can convey and this trip will definitely be a Kleenex/Kodak moment for a plethora of reasons.

My words of wisdom for the day are “never under estimate the human spirit.” We have nine more treatments left and what we have accomplished from day one is nothing short of miraculous.

Take time to find your blessings today!

Val

(Here is mom with her gift from The Quilting Club at Holy Cross.)

Magical Melody

It’s Tuesday and I arrived at Casa de Longo at my usual time. Mom says she can set her clock by me and I can say the same about her.

Each and every time I walk through the door, mom is always sitting in her chair, hands folded across her lap, coat draped over the arm of the chair and her cane leaning next to that, patiently waiting for her ride – she is always ready to go. It’s a good thing she changes her clothes and hat, otherwise I would think I was in my own version of the movie Ground Hog Day. :o)

Mom, or has my husband calls her, “momisan” looked a little tired today. Since we are at the beginning of week four of radiation, it’s starting to wear on her a little bit. I think the fact that she has been on some type of schedule since October makes her tired too. Anytime you do something in a repetitive manner, it can be a bit monotonous, even if it’s saving your life, sometimes you are just ready for a break.

We loaded up the car and in the words of Diana Ross in the 1978 movie, The Wiz; we eased on down the road. We arrived at Medical City on time, but they were having a busy day and were behind schedule a bit. I escorted mom through the “forbidden doors” and took my usual chair in the waiting area. I rooted around in my purse and found my iPod and as I settled into my own melodic world, I had to remind myself to not sing out loud with the music or lip synch…and yes, I do make the contorted face when I do.

As I was swaying side to side, I had the strangest feeling I was being watched. I opened one eye to see mom hovering over me, grinning ear to ear. I removed the ear plugs and asked her what she was doing. She just kept on grinning and said, “Just watching.” Great, I had my very first groupie. As I reached for her coat, I decided to let her release her inner rock star – we all know she has it, remember the guitar hero photos that were posted earlier on this blog? I put the ear phones into her ears and while I was putting on her coat, something amazing happened. She began to move side to side, waving her arms in the air and tapping her cane. I got a glimpse of some of the other people in the waiting room and they were just smiling and trying to move to a beat that they could not hear. As we headed out the door, mom still bee-bopping (as she calls it) it reminded me of that movie Weekend at Bernie’s II. The music seemed to just take over momisan and transformed a weary woman into Fred Astaire, complete with swinging cane.

I think sometimes we underestimate the power of music. It has the ability to inspire, invigorate, sooth and get you moving when you think you just can’t move any more. It has the power to transport you to the past in the blink of an eye and serve as a back drop as you catch a glimpse into your future.

So whether your preference is Andre Bocelli, Tony Bennet, Aerosmith (or in my case) a mix of all the above, take a little time to “bee-bop” this week - bring out your inner Fred or Ginger and celebrate your life.

Find you blessings today!

Val

It's Genetic

My alarm clock buzzed a little bit earlier this morning. I had to allocate some extra time to swing by ye olde donut shop on the way to mom’s house. She wanted to bring her radiation therapists a little something for always being so nice to her. Mom just enjoys doing things for those who do for her. She’s always so appreciative, even for the smallest of things.

When I got to the house, I thought we were going to have an “off” day. Mom wasn’t feeling too well and after I grilled her like a cheese sandwich, she said she was feeling a little nauseous and thought it best if she brought her little pink bucket. I won’t go into great detail, but darn it...there will be no chunkage when I am behind the wheel. So as we were headed out the door, I had one of my brilliant epiphanies. I told mom she should get one of her anti-nausea pills that she was taking while getting the chemo. I hated the thought of her having to go through that tube for treatment, feeling queasy.

After mom popped her pill, we were off and half way down the tollway, it happened…the woman had a miraculous recovery and it was party on!

We arrived at Medical City early and after I unloaded mom, I went back for all her “stuff.” She said I looked like a pack mule since I was loaded down with her purse, my purse, two boxes of donuts, her sippy cup of water, her jacket and a bag of CD’s that she brought in order to share some music during treatment. Of course, she always insists on carrying something and I always tell her, it’s training for when I have kids and have to drag them and all their crap from point A to point B. :o) She thinks that’s the funniest thing ever!

I actually escorted mom through the “forbidden doors” and down the hallway. As we rounder the corner (donut fumes in tow), we saw her nurse and radiology therapist at the helm administering someone else’s treatment. They both said “good morning” and I told the nurse why I had deviated from the “patient only” protocol. She quickly replied that anyone bringing food gets a free pass. I left mom in the holding area and joined the other patient escorts in the outer sanctum.

Things moved pretty quickly today (they usually do on Fridays) and mom emerged from her treatment area with tears in her eyes. Like the Spanish Inquisition, I wanted to know why she was so misty. She told me they were happy tears, not sad ones. Mom said that soon after I left the “forbidden zone” her therapists had commented on how nice it was to finally meet me. That she had a beautiful daughter who looks like her mom and shares her same kind and loving spirit – WOW! I have them all fooled. ;)

After my mom told me all the nice things her medical team said, I came to a horrible conclusion…I have my mother’s Big Hambone gene. On the ride home, I referenced Jim Carey’s movie, Bruce Almighty. I told mom that not only was I... B-E-A-UTIFUL, but since I cured her nausea, I had a bit of Wylie E. Coyote…Super-geniuous sprinkled in. I looked over at mom and joking said, “You do realize that being this smart and pretty, is painful”? She looked at me, smiled and said, “Of course, I do. You take after your mother.” The woman is a riot and absolutely correct…I am a chip off the old parmigiano reggiano!

We stopped on the way home for lunch at Il Grano. Mom had the hankering for pasta salad and as we left, we broke into Italian song. Mom says it makes her heart full to see one of her kids embracing her culture. I told her I had to make sure I had it down so I could some day pass it along to little Giuseppe Conley! ;)

I dropped mom off at the Casa and we got her groceries put up, then sat out on the porch and enjoyed the gorgeous day. I even got her to pose for a few photos and a mini movie or two. I admit there are days that we have so much fun that for a little while we forget that she is battling cancer – and those are the moments that have become our most cherished memories.

Mom and I have a new acronym for ourselves – Team LoCo.
It’s very appropriate considering some of the adventures we have had during the past five months. For those of you that do not know, LoCo is a combination of my maiden and married name.

As I left Casa de Longo today, mom said that this was the best day she had and I would have to agree. Sometimes you just have to cut-up, act silly, embrace your goofiness and just enjoy the moment. So here’s hoping that each and every one of you all get a little LoCo this weekend – sing, dance and celebrate life like no one is watching.

Val



(Hear a Message from Ida - Just Press the "Play" Arrow - make sure your speakers are on.)



Friday's Freaky Fotos!

Bald IS b-e-a-utiful ...baby!

We have follicles coming back!

Locks of Love - I told mom I would give her some of my follicles for transplantation! ;o)

Just another day for Team LoCo!

Chia mom by Ronco!

Submitted by Andy:

What a surprise today when I picked mom up for her radiation treatment Thursday and she was sporting some hair! She said she just felt like wearing a hairpiece today, and she looked very nice. But then when does she not when she travels with us. I must say quite dapper with that bastone of hers. As we headed to Dallas, we again ran the A to Z list of things to talk about. Kinda like a non-stop bombardment of all things: Life Longo and Love.

It is amazing the number of people that come into Med Cities for radiation treatment. The past two days, we saw a few patients coming into the facility on stretchers. Of course, because of their special non- ambulatory condition, the schedules were put back a little. Not a problem, which is why we are, called patients. Ya gotta have some when dealing with medicine and schedules.

Everyone at the facility has been so nice each and every time I’ve gone with mom. It truly takes a special calling to do this type of job. But they are on the ball over there! They checked mom out twice with the new look, making sure they had the right person. Even said some nice things about how she didn’t look her age. 10,000,000 suck up points to you all! And thanks for taking such great care of all those whom enter those doors. You make the journey a little more comfortable.

For David

It seems that everyone wants to be in or a part of something that is larger than the person themselves. As we grow and I have seen this with my two young daughters, there is a need to be in the club. If you watch children on a playground, they will over time develop their own individual social groups. And of course, the toughest question at recess is “do you want to be in my club?”

As we grow older, high school and later college associations vie for our membership to join various educational clubs or sororities. As we grow even older, professional associations and trade groups bind us together with people who have similar interests in careers and what we hope to be life long connections and friendships.

If we choose to get married, again social circles and friends form parts of our personal time, then the addition of children, family and even pets continues to define who we are.

All the above are fun happy things that as we grow older, allow us to reflect on what a good life we have truly lived. But what happens if we are drawn to others because of illness or disability. Certainly one can say that it was not by choice. Maybe questioning why? Did I deserve this cross to carry in life? And unless you personally walk the very steps as a patient or family member, can you only truly understand the weight of that cross in the group of those suffering from Cancer.

Today was mid point for the five weeks radiation treatment for mom depending on how you calculated it. As usual, the Tollway was slow, so we got there right on time. Mom and I talked about a variety of things, but she was somewhat stuck on the image and sorrow of children who suffered from Cancer and how all children deserve to be healthy and happy doing what children were born to do. But then mom is like that. She worries about everyone. The troops, family, cop, firefighters, the homeless, the shut in, the sick. My goodness her prayer list must be volumes long.

Mom’s treatments lasted a bit longer today, leaving me to hang out in the waiting room a little longer than usual. We were a little late getting back and one of my guys called to be sure everything was OK. A gruff soul, but when the chips are down he is a softie.

While sitting in the waiting area, different people reacted to me differently than others. A handshakes by one, a glance by another. Some smiled, some said hi, some just walked by. Then a nicely dressed lady walked by with a young boy who had a smile from one ear to the other. That Magic Johnson boyish smile! As he walked by, his eyes were as big as saucers. His baseball cap pushed to the left, slightly up on one side. But what struck me was the smile this young man had. As he walked by, I said, “how are you”, which he replied “FINE” matter of factly. He then took his seat with his mom a few chairs down the row.

About ten minutes after arriving, he got up and moved over to me where I was sitting, sort of leaning to the left in the chair. He asked, “So what’s it like being a police officer” he questioned. “Great” I told him. “Although I never thought I would be one when I was your age.” His mom, seeing were had struck up a conversation said he always wanted to be a police officer when he grows up. Wow, I was impressed! A young man his age knowing what he wanted to be in life. And so began our conversation on what it is like to be a police officer. And all the while, that beautiful, beautiful smile. The smile that says “I’m on top of the world look at me!”

Our talk lasted about twenty minutes until mom came out. Which gave me plenty of time to tell this young man all the secrets of law enforcement work. That what you see on television is not what most police officers do. He knew that was phony all along. And when we got to the part of what helping others meant to the job, he said “I like that.” Just as we were finishing up, mom came out explaining her delay was due to a consult and some additional X-rays. “We’re moving right along,” she said.

She noticed my friend and mom asked if we were talking. I said “yep”, “this is David and he wants to be a police officer”. David got up and still wearing that smile and extended his hand to say hello to mom. We kidded for a few seconds when I stuck my head next to moms and said “see this is my mom, noticed the similar good looks?”
David laughed. That smile getting bigger than ever. Mom introduced herself to David’s mother and asked if he was sick. His mother simply nodded slightly holding back a few tears. Then mom reached out, and said “can I give you a hug?” David still smiling reached out with both hands and grabbed big momma like she was his own, not letting go. And they held each other for a few moments. Next, she told his mother she needed a hug too and his mother released a few tears that she was holding inside. David’s mom said today was his first day, and next week he was scheduled to be in the hospital.

We talked briefly, and I told David to hurry up and become that police officer so he could carry on for me. I said we need nice guys like you to carry on for us older guys. David, still smiling simply nodded and we bumped knuckles to say goodbye for now.

David, age 15 had been welcomed into the group with love from a stranger, with no bigger a heart ever known. And mom and I slowly walked out to the truck hand in hand thinking about our new friend David and how he blessed our life today. David went to the top of her prayer list today. I cannot think of a better person to have in my corner.

Give your children an extra hung tonight for David’s sake. And add him to your prayer list too!

Andy

Responsibility

As Willie Nelson would say, we’re “on the road again” to Med Cities!
I had heard rumors that mom would be dressed in black and white today. They were not rumors. She looked just like that round cookie we ate as kids that had the half-white icing and half-chocolate icing kind of meeting in the middle. Then to top it all off, she had that fuzzy white hat that looked something like a Drakes Snowball cake. O.K, so I have food on my mind as I write this.

Also in tow, was her bastone. A major mental hurdle, but perhaps a temporary aid as her knees is bothering her a bit. Mom’s side of the family has the long bloodlines and let’s not forget the good looks, but the knees, faggetaboutit! So now she has a pointing stick and we have to remember not to lip off to her, as her “attack range” for a smack in the head is now extended by about three feet.

The treatment room was running a little behind schedule, which I like sometimes. Keeping the treatments on your timetable and having it wait for when you’re ready. HA! One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi (you get the idea).

Couldn’t talk mom into coffee today or lunch, but we again had some pretty good conversation. She shared a story when she first moved down here to Texas, and started to work with L.I.S.D in the kitchen. Yes Adam Sandler, momma Ida was a lunchroom Lady! Not that she needed to work, just something to get her out of the house and as it would turn out, following the first set of her grandchildren Michael and Joseph through their elementary grades. She even served my wife Rachel lunches when she was at Camey. Which is another story for another time.

Now mom always had a great heart. Still does! If you approached her and said Ida, can I borrow a dollar, she’d give you two. Even if she didn’t have it. And when she worked in the kitchen, what hurt her heart the most were children who didn’t have their lunch money. Now the school cannot let kids go hungry, so they had the Column B lunch. PBJ and water. Broke mom’s heart to see some of the kids eating the free lunch when everyone else was eating pizza or burgers or spaghetti. Back then the lunches she said were $1.05. (Tells ya how long ago it was). So she’d tell the kids that forgot their money,” let me see how responsible you are”. And she’d give the child a dollar and five cents to get a regular lunch. But there was a catch! They had to promise that they would pay her back the next day. They said they would, and in all the years she worked in the various kitchens they all always did. Not once did she not get her money back from one of the children. For they all showed wonderful responsibility.

I don’t share this conversation to make my mom out to be a Mother Theresa. Remember that she hits in the head with a wooden spoon. But what it reminds me is that there are times we need to trust and show responsibility to others when everything in life says “this one is gonna hurt”. A kitchen life lesson if you will. And sometimes, with a little luck and prayer, it works out for the best. Who’s to say that maybe someone out there reading this now didn’t pass through one of those momma Ida lunch lines. Each day in life we all come across those people who maybe we may not take a second notice of. I’ve come to realize through my career of 28 years in public safety that sometimes you need to show compassion and grace to people. And at times, it is difficult to do. But it is a lesson I learned from mom. And what does my heart good is when our paths cross months or years later and they remember me for the good I did for them. How wonderful this world would be, if we all just helped each other through this lunch line we call life.

Here’s to the moms and lunch ladies everywhere!

A special shout out to all my friends at the “cement pond.” Keep strong!

Andy