Jolly Green and Niblet

Well, I am a few days late in posting the events of my designated day…but as mom always says, “better late than never.” :)

It turns out that Friday brought a weather phenomenon to Texas that we do not see that often – snow! Yes, Virginia…there is snow in Texas. Now, it’s not the kind I remember as a kid growing up in Long Island. That kind of snow allowed us to build igloos and tunnel from one end of the block to the other. This kind of snow is usually miniscule in accumulation, but just the right consistency to make a few good snow balls.

I awoke to news reports regarding treacherous bridges and overpasses in the county where we live. During winter weather, that seems to be our demise – those pesky, high bridges and overpasses freezing and causing gridlock. But reports indicated that the place we needed to get to, downtown Dallas, did not reap any of the treachery of the wintry mix. So if figured I could easily make the journey.

It just so happens that my husband, James, was off on Friday. And for those of you that do not know, he is in law enforcement so when it comes to me, he is very protective and worries about my safety. I chalk that up to all the crazies he comes into contact with on a daily basis. So my knight in “blue armor” volunteered to be the wheel man.

We arrived at Cass de Longo on time and mom was ecstatic to see my husband – the woman loves that boy as if he were one of her own. Thankfully he’s not because that would make our marriage illegal, unless we lived in Arkansas! :)

We piled into the car and headed to Medical City. As we approached the doors leading to the “forbidden zone” mom was greeted by a fellow radiation patient. They chit-chatted for a while and when mom rejoined me and my husband, she said that the gentleman always tells her how beautiful she is and what a wonderful smile she has. Now even though mom is married, I think it makes anyone feel good when another person finds them attractive and as mom said, “Especially considering I am an old, bald woman.” So as she proceeded through the doors, I was reminded of Sandra Bullock’s character (Gracie Heart) in Miss Congeniality. And as mom started through the doors, I started to sing... "He thinks you’re sexy…he wants to kiss you.” Needless to say, mom giggled down the hall like a school girl. It’s amazing how kind words, even from a stranger, can lift one’s spirits.

The inclement weather worked in our favor today. There were a lot of treatment cancellations, so we were in and out in record time – fifteen minutes. As mom re-emerged from the treatment area, my husband looked surprised that it did not take longer. “Not to worry” mom said. “That gives us time to have some lunch.”

We arrived at a local burger joint and while my mom isn’t much of a “burger kind of gal,” she will kill you with her folk for the cheese fries they serve at this place. So as we settled into our booth, an old saying popped into my head – “you can tell a lot about a man in the way he treats his mother.” And as I watched my husband help my mom off with her coat, assist her getting in and out of the booth and guiding her gently along when we were ready to leave, I had an ah-ha moment. While that old saying may be true, you can tell more about a man in how he treats YOUR mother. Like I posted in another blog, I didn’t really ask my husband to step up to this challenge. He did so willing and without having to be asked – he loves my mom as if she were his own and I think that speaks volumes as to the type of man I married.

As my husband and mom continued to walk, they conversed on a plethora of topics. Some of which I promised not to blog about – not because they are shocking…but let’s just say that my husband sees my mom in a whole new light. She is a humorous handful! :o)

As they continued to walk and talk, my husband towered over my mom. They looked like the Jolly Green Giant and Niblet! I decided to lurk in the background, not because I did not have anything to say, but because I was enjoying the moment of being on the outside looking in - watching my husband and mom interact on such an intense level.

I sat in the back of the car and as we headed home, James and mom continued their chosen topic of discussion. My husband pointed out that in his line of work; it sometimes frustrates him that people automatically assume the worse case scenario. When they see the police, something is wrong or someone is usually in trouble for breaking the law. While it might be true in some of the cases, it is not always an accurate picture one-hundred percent of them time. Sometimes you see officers parked on the side of the road catching up on paper work or simply talking with each other. There are times you might see an officer walk into a school, not because there is an emergency but to leave lunch money for their child or be the guest speaker at a show and tell. And sometimes you might see an officer escorting someone across a parking lot; not because that person broke the law, but perhaps they found time, in an otherwise abnormal schedule, to have lunch with a significant other or friend. It’s all about perspective.

Cancer is a lot like that. People just presume because one is diagnosed with Cancer that means an automatic end. You have the Big C and that’s that. But in a lot of cases that is just not the case …and if you don’t believe that, just look at the photos of my bald, mature mother who is beating Stage 4 cancer! I imagine if you were a casual bystander looking at my mom, you might think the worse case scenario or assume she's in trouble - healthwise. But I guarantee if you are on the inside, looking out, you would witness all the joys and blessings and rather than focusing on just the negative ...you would be hopefully optimistic.

It’s all about perspective.

Val

(Jolly Green and Niblet)

(Proof that it does snow in Texas!)

The Talk

Submitted by Andy ....and I am going to require some type of therapy on this one ... :o(
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A favorite past time at our house is to catch an episode or two of Everyone Loves Raymond. God bless the TIVO! The show seems to epitomize the Long Island Italian family structure and how they work their way through life and its many questions. The episode we saw tonight was Raymond trying to tell his daughter about sex and why we are on the earth? What is the meaning of life? Amazing mom and I had a similar discussion today on the way to the hospital. What the heck went wrong? It took 48 years to get “the talk” and learn the meaning of life. I think I got the sex part figured out by now, but we talked about how relationships progress over the years.

One of my favorite mental photos, is the financial investment commercial that shows a young man running through a park passing an elderly couple walking hand in hand in the park. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. And that one speaks volumes.

I was half kidding talking to mom, that as she worked through her daily meditation she put in a good word for me that as the years passed, the bada bing still had that zing. But before you go off with OH MY GOSH, you have to remember that the blog is our sharing our life with you, looking inward. And taking ourselves seriously sometimes is not as much fun as laughing at life together.

But getting back to the picture of the older couple, mom and I agreed that what makes a couple a couple is not any specific moment in time. It is a composition of many life experiences over the long haul. It is the hours of the day that turn into weeks, months and years of togetherness. The day you bring your child home, get a dog, buy your first home, burn dinner, wreck a car without getting hurt, see your child off to school, walk them down the isle, and on and on and on.

All these things both good and not so good, play out into the motion picture we call our life. And as mom frequently says; “It’s all good.” Its how we deal with each of these events and share both the laughs and burdens with those who are important to us.

Understanding always that love is the act of easing the hurt when you fall off your bike. Love is the act of saying I’m sorry when it wasn’t your fault. Love is the act of helping your child into their car seat, or a parent out of the car when they don’t move as quickly as they used to. Love is teaching a child to walk for the first time, or doing a moonwalk into the Doctors office with your mom. Love is what you make of it and how you share it.

At school, my daughters told me of a program pennies for patients. They are collecting pennies to help those stricken by Leukemia and other illness. I thought it was noteworthy that they wanted to go to their bank and get some money out of their bank accounts to give to the cause. It’s never too early to learn to love. Happy that they figured it out so early in the game.

Hello Dolly!

Submitted by Andy ----------

We have talked before about introspection and how the travel time to the hospital these past few months has allowed us time to talk, thing and remember. Today, when we were driving to Dallas, I just had to tell mom that somehow this experience has transformed her into our version of a great sage. I asked her if she had some extra time in her week, if she wouldn’t mind setting up a little “life works” kiosk on the side of a hill, giving her take on the world in general.

I found it amazing that some of the greatest political minds in the world were having difficulty resolving some of our generations biggest problems, and to some extent made a larger mess of things. Mom after all and by her own admission, has seen some pretty good and pretty heart wrenching things during her years. Maybe the key to making the planet a better place to live is to entrust it’s future in the moms of the worlds? Can you imagine the United Nations, Congress, Parliament or Tribal Councils composed only of mothers? Having a discussion in the kitchen, while stirring over a pot of sauce. Working through the differences without war or hate, having a mutual respect for the other and realizing that it is OK to disagree sometimes. I think we sometimes take for granted the wealth of knowledge and acute awareness that comes from our elders and our young as well.

I’d like to share a personal photo with you all. Kristen at religious education class over the weekend made a Prayer Box. And in that Prayer Box she was to draw a photo of the person she felt needed her prayers. I’ll let you see for yourself the TWO people she picked. Take a look at the detail of the photos, and the simplicity of the photos. Says a lot huh?

So take some time as you travel your day to listen to the young and those wise old birds in your life. I’ve truly enjoyed the time I have spent with the Dolly Momma, and my daughters help keep me grounded on what is important. You just may learn something, you thought you already knew!

Mother Smucker

Today was a day filled with more blessings than we could shake mom’s cane at. I arrived at Casa de Longo amid a flurry of snowflakes. While it did not last long, it was truly magical the way they bounced off my windshield as I headed to pick mom up.

When I got to her house, I burst through the door, yelling, “It’s snowing!” Of course mom panicked and asked whether it was safe to drive all the way to Dallas. I assured her that we had nothing to worry about. They were ascetically pleasing snow flurries. The kind that just make you go WOW without causing you to slip and slide into your fellow travelers.

As I walked mom to the car, she stopped and tilted her head back to catch a few flurries on her tongue. She said it made her feel like a kid. It was one of those moments that just put a lump in your throat.

During our drive to Medical City mom told me that when I dropped her off yesterday, she had received an unexpected surprise. Her friend Ethel had called and wanted to stop by to give mom something. Mom said that they visited for awhile and then her dear friend presented her with a quilt. This quilt had been made for mom by some very remarkable woman at Holy Cross Catholic Church. Their calling is to use their creative talents to make quilts for the sick, have them blessed and then bring them by to provide comfort for those facing a severe illness. It was absolutely beautiful and to know that it was made with such love and sincere well wishes for a full recovery makes it something to be cherished for ever.

As we made our way through the sliding doors leading to the radiology wing, I could tell it was probably going to be a longer than normal visit. After mom signed in, I escorted her through the “forbidden zone” and settled into a chair to watch the snowflakes fall. After a few minutes had passed, Peter, the little boy who has been there as long as my mom, emerged and reunited with his mom. Sometimes it’s hard not to over hear someone else’s’ conversation, but Peter and his mom were elated that tomorrow was his “graduation” day. That’s what the staff calls a patient’s last radiation treatment. As Peter and his mom walked passed me, he smiled at me and his mom wished me a good day. I told her that tomorrow was my day off and since I probably would not see them again, I wanted to wish them both a journey filled with blessings and good health – Peter is a remarkable young man who I am sure will do great things in his life.

I continued to observe the snowflakes fall. What started out as small little specs, evolved into fluffy, Texas sized flakes …dancing their way to the ground below. Mom appeared from behind the “forbidden zone” about an hour later. Today’s session was a bit longer due to x-rays and the weekly consultation with her radiologist. As she sat in the chair, she leaned over and grabbed my hand and told me that Dr. Macko said she was doing phenomenal...DUH!

I know some might think that at the age of 80, mom should have forgone the surgery and treatment …after all, 80 is a pretty good number and the road to recovery has not been easy. But Dr. Macko told mom today that for a woman of her maturity she is in exceptional health and she has at least another twenty years. I told mom I already had visions of her face gracing the label of a Smucker’s jar on the Today show! :o)

Our final blessing of the day came in the form of a road trip. Since it’s no longer a surprise, I can blog about it. My mom’s brother is celebrating his 90th birthday in a few weeks and due to her illness, she did not think she could make the trip…especially crammed into coach on a flying Petri dish.

But after discussing it with my husband, James, we decided to “gift” some air miles so mom could travel first class and be with her siblings on this momentous occasion. As her brother, Frank pointed out, it may be one of the last times all of the siblings will be together since they are maturing and traveling becomes more difficult.

Not to mention, my heart knows that my mom needs to physically see her siblings. They need to be able to pinch, hug, kiss and spend time together in order to reaffirm that my mom is doing well. There is just so much a blog can convey and this trip will definitely be a Kleenex/Kodak moment for a plethora of reasons.

My words of wisdom for the day are “never under estimate the human spirit.” We have nine more treatments left and what we have accomplished from day one is nothing short of miraculous.

Take time to find your blessings today!

Val

(Here is mom with her gift from The Quilting Club at Holy Cross.)

Magical Melody

It’s Tuesday and I arrived at Casa de Longo at my usual time. Mom says she can set her clock by me and I can say the same about her.

Each and every time I walk through the door, mom is always sitting in her chair, hands folded across her lap, coat draped over the arm of the chair and her cane leaning next to that, patiently waiting for her ride – she is always ready to go. It’s a good thing she changes her clothes and hat, otherwise I would think I was in my own version of the movie Ground Hog Day. :o)

Mom, or has my husband calls her, “momisan” looked a little tired today. Since we are at the beginning of week four of radiation, it’s starting to wear on her a little bit. I think the fact that she has been on some type of schedule since October makes her tired too. Anytime you do something in a repetitive manner, it can be a bit monotonous, even if it’s saving your life, sometimes you are just ready for a break.

We loaded up the car and in the words of Diana Ross in the 1978 movie, The Wiz; we eased on down the road. We arrived at Medical City on time, but they were having a busy day and were behind schedule a bit. I escorted mom through the “forbidden doors” and took my usual chair in the waiting area. I rooted around in my purse and found my iPod and as I settled into my own melodic world, I had to remind myself to not sing out loud with the music or lip synch…and yes, I do make the contorted face when I do.

As I was swaying side to side, I had the strangest feeling I was being watched. I opened one eye to see mom hovering over me, grinning ear to ear. I removed the ear plugs and asked her what she was doing. She just kept on grinning and said, “Just watching.” Great, I had my very first groupie. As I reached for her coat, I decided to let her release her inner rock star – we all know she has it, remember the guitar hero photos that were posted earlier on this blog? I put the ear phones into her ears and while I was putting on her coat, something amazing happened. She began to move side to side, waving her arms in the air and tapping her cane. I got a glimpse of some of the other people in the waiting room and they were just smiling and trying to move to a beat that they could not hear. As we headed out the door, mom still bee-bopping (as she calls it) it reminded me of that movie Weekend at Bernie’s II. The music seemed to just take over momisan and transformed a weary woman into Fred Astaire, complete with swinging cane.

I think sometimes we underestimate the power of music. It has the ability to inspire, invigorate, sooth and get you moving when you think you just can’t move any more. It has the power to transport you to the past in the blink of an eye and serve as a back drop as you catch a glimpse into your future.

So whether your preference is Andre Bocelli, Tony Bennet, Aerosmith (or in my case) a mix of all the above, take a little time to “bee-bop” this week - bring out your inner Fred or Ginger and celebrate your life.

Find you blessings today!

Val

It's Genetic

My alarm clock buzzed a little bit earlier this morning. I had to allocate some extra time to swing by ye olde donut shop on the way to mom’s house. She wanted to bring her radiation therapists a little something for always being so nice to her. Mom just enjoys doing things for those who do for her. She’s always so appreciative, even for the smallest of things.

When I got to the house, I thought we were going to have an “off” day. Mom wasn’t feeling too well and after I grilled her like a cheese sandwich, she said she was feeling a little nauseous and thought it best if she brought her little pink bucket. I won’t go into great detail, but darn it...there will be no chunkage when I am behind the wheel. So as we were headed out the door, I had one of my brilliant epiphanies. I told mom she should get one of her anti-nausea pills that she was taking while getting the chemo. I hated the thought of her having to go through that tube for treatment, feeling queasy.

After mom popped her pill, we were off and half way down the tollway, it happened…the woman had a miraculous recovery and it was party on!

We arrived at Medical City early and after I unloaded mom, I went back for all her “stuff.” She said I looked like a pack mule since I was loaded down with her purse, my purse, two boxes of donuts, her sippy cup of water, her jacket and a bag of CD’s that she brought in order to share some music during treatment. Of course, she always insists on carrying something and I always tell her, it’s training for when I have kids and have to drag them and all their crap from point A to point B. :o) She thinks that’s the funniest thing ever!

I actually escorted mom through the “forbidden doors” and down the hallway. As we rounder the corner (donut fumes in tow), we saw her nurse and radiology therapist at the helm administering someone else’s treatment. They both said “good morning” and I told the nurse why I had deviated from the “patient only” protocol. She quickly replied that anyone bringing food gets a free pass. I left mom in the holding area and joined the other patient escorts in the outer sanctum.

Things moved pretty quickly today (they usually do on Fridays) and mom emerged from her treatment area with tears in her eyes. Like the Spanish Inquisition, I wanted to know why she was so misty. She told me they were happy tears, not sad ones. Mom said that soon after I left the “forbidden zone” her therapists had commented on how nice it was to finally meet me. That she had a beautiful daughter who looks like her mom and shares her same kind and loving spirit – WOW! I have them all fooled. ;)

After my mom told me all the nice things her medical team said, I came to a horrible conclusion…I have my mother’s Big Hambone gene. On the ride home, I referenced Jim Carey’s movie, Bruce Almighty. I told mom that not only was I... B-E-A-UTIFUL, but since I cured her nausea, I had a bit of Wylie E. Coyote…Super-geniuous sprinkled in. I looked over at mom and joking said, “You do realize that being this smart and pretty, is painful”? She looked at me, smiled and said, “Of course, I do. You take after your mother.” The woman is a riot and absolutely correct…I am a chip off the old parmigiano reggiano!

We stopped on the way home for lunch at Il Grano. Mom had the hankering for pasta salad and as we left, we broke into Italian song. Mom says it makes her heart full to see one of her kids embracing her culture. I told her I had to make sure I had it down so I could some day pass it along to little Giuseppe Conley! ;)

I dropped mom off at the Casa and we got her groceries put up, then sat out on the porch and enjoyed the gorgeous day. I even got her to pose for a few photos and a mini movie or two. I admit there are days that we have so much fun that for a little while we forget that she is battling cancer – and those are the moments that have become our most cherished memories.

Mom and I have a new acronym for ourselves – Team LoCo.
It’s very appropriate considering some of the adventures we have had during the past five months. For those of you that do not know, LoCo is a combination of my maiden and married name.

As I left Casa de Longo today, mom said that this was the best day she had and I would have to agree. Sometimes you just have to cut-up, act silly, embrace your goofiness and just enjoy the moment. So here’s hoping that each and every one of you all get a little LoCo this weekend – sing, dance and celebrate life like no one is watching.

Val



(Hear a Message from Ida - Just Press the "Play" Arrow - make sure your speakers are on.)



Friday's Freaky Fotos!

Bald IS b-e-a-utiful ...baby!

We have follicles coming back!

Locks of Love - I told mom I would give her some of my follicles for transplantation! ;o)

Just another day for Team LoCo!

Chia mom by Ronco!

Submitted by Andy:

What a surprise today when I picked mom up for her radiation treatment Thursday and she was sporting some hair! She said she just felt like wearing a hairpiece today, and she looked very nice. But then when does she not when she travels with us. I must say quite dapper with that bastone of hers. As we headed to Dallas, we again ran the A to Z list of things to talk about. Kinda like a non-stop bombardment of all things: Life Longo and Love.

It is amazing the number of people that come into Med Cities for radiation treatment. The past two days, we saw a few patients coming into the facility on stretchers. Of course, because of their special non- ambulatory condition, the schedules were put back a little. Not a problem, which is why we are, called patients. Ya gotta have some when dealing with medicine and schedules.

Everyone at the facility has been so nice each and every time I’ve gone with mom. It truly takes a special calling to do this type of job. But they are on the ball over there! They checked mom out twice with the new look, making sure they had the right person. Even said some nice things about how she didn’t look her age. 10,000,000 suck up points to you all! And thanks for taking such great care of all those whom enter those doors. You make the journey a little more comfortable.